Co-parenting
after a separation is rarely easy, particularly if you have a contentious
relationship with your ex-partner. You are worried about the parenting
abilities of your ex, feel exhausted by conflict, managing child support, and
many other financial issues. Do you also think you will never overcome all the
problems in your relationship?
But
co-parenting can be done amicably with your ex with the help of a family law
attorney. It can give your kids the security, stability, and good relationships
with both parents whom they need.
What is
Co-Parenting?
Unless
your family has suffered from major issues like substance abuse or domestic
violence, co-parenting is the best way to ensure all the needs of the children
are met. It means that both parents have an active role to play in the everyday
lives of the kids.
Studies
revealed that the quality of the relationship between the two parents has a
major influence on the emotional and mental well-being of the kids. It also
lessens the incidence of depression and anxiety. But setting aside relationship
problems, co-parent is easier said than done after a bitter divorce.
Do Not Put Kids in
the Middle
You
may not lose all of the bitterness and resentment that you feel toward your
partner about your separation. But, what you can do is try to forget about
those feelings and remember that they are your problems and not your kids'.
Children Are Not
Messengers In This Case
When
you use your kids to convey messages to the other co-parent, it puts them in
the middle of the conflict. Your main goal should be to keep your child out of
your relationship problems. Therefore, call or email your ex directly.
Remember
that it is not necessary to meet your ex-spouse in person all the time. You can
communicate through texts or emails for most of the conversations. The goal is
to establish trouble-free communication. So, see which type of contact is
suitable for you. Consult with your family law legal expert for this.
Separate Feelings
from Behavior
It
is okay to be angry and hurt. But, do not let your feelings dictate your
behavior. What you can do is work with the other parent in a mature manner. Motivate
your feelings and actions.
Communication Methods
for Co-parenting
·
Keep conversations
kid-focused.
If you feel angry or resentful, try to remember why you need to act with
purpose.
·
Listen. Communicating with
maturity starts with listening. And listening does not indicate approval, so
you cannot lose anything by allowing your ex to voice their opinions.
·
Show restraint. You can train
yourself to not overreact to your ex, and over time you can become numb to the
buttons they try to push.
·
Make requests. Try framing requests
as much as you can, rather make statements, which can be misunderstood as
demands.
The
secret to the success of co-parenting is to separate it from your personal
relationship with your ex. According to your family law Gold Coast counselor, your
marriage may have ended, but your relationship with your kids is not. Do what
is best for them, which must be your topmost priority.
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